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Foreign Food

Blood Pudding

Here's the recipe; need I say more? I was offered it once, but couldn't bring myself to try.

Black Pudding (Blood Pudding)
1 qt. Pigs blood
3/4 lb. bread crumbs
1/2 lb. suet
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 qt. milk
1 c. cooked barley
1 c. dry oatmeal
1 oz. powdered mint
Mix all ingredients together in a bowl, pour into a large pan and bring to a boil. Pour in a wide shallow bowl and season again if necessary. When cold it may be cut into slices and fried

here's a link to a site dedicated to blood pudding

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Marmite

I tried this one once. Picture pure yeast, dissolved in Worcestershire sauce. I'm still not entirely sure what it's used for - condiment or baking additive

visit the I Hate Marmite page, or if you prefer, some Marmite recipes

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Fermented Lettuce

description reads: Empty this product into a small bowl and eat with plain boiled white rice. Product of Thailand.

The closest thing I can think of to "fermented lettuce" is the lettuce water I get if I leave it in the crisper drawer too long, and I'm sure as HELL not eating that.

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Fish Sauce

Yes, I know this is a wonderful flavoring base for many delicious pacific rim recipes. However, on it's own smells and taste like you've been sipping on a bloated fish cocktail.

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Hominy

Oh hominy, you seem so appealing! Bloated white fleshed kernels of corn that have burst out of their bleached skins after soaking in lye. Who wouldn't love it?

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Champagne Flavored Pop

Thought I'd throw this in

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Dried Crawdads

I've had excellent crayfish in New Orleans. However dried crayfish makes me visualize dead crawdads in August roasting on a rock next to the creek I grew up by.

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Beer Cheese or Bierkaese

This cheese, meant to be dipped in a strong German beer and eaten with onions and rye bread, smells exactly like dirty bung-hole. It is one of the only foods that I actually gagged to as it rose to my mouth, and is the only cheese that I've ever had to discard of the whole block after one bite. Truly awful. And I absolutely love cheese, of every shape, texture and degree of potency. And I'm half German. Therefore, they should label it "bung-hole cheese".

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Haggis

The bastards in the picture are smiling because they're selling this bloated atrocity to unsuspecting tourists by the ton. When I was in Scotland, I was told by a Scot that the only people who eat the crap are generally stupid ass foreigners trying to get a taste of "real Scotch food". Take my word for it and try the shortbread instead. Even better are Scotch eggs, or a pickle and cheese sandwich.

Here's another yummy recipe, if you'd like to try it at home on your sheep farm:

Obtain the large stomach bag of a sheep, also one of the smaller bags called the King's hood, together with the 'pluck' which is the lights, the liver and the heart. The bags take a great deal of washing. They must be washed first in running cold water, then plunged into boiling water and after that, they must be scraped. Take great care of the bag which is to be filled for if it is damaged it is useless. When you are satisfied it is as clean as you can make it, let it soak in cold salted water overnight. The pluck must also be thoroughly washed; you cook it along with the little bag.

Boil the pluck and the little bag in a large pot with plenty of water, (leaving the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot as this allows impurities to pass out freely) for about an hour and a half before removing it from the pot and allowing it to cool. Reserve the cooking liquid forlater use.

When cold, start preparing the filling by cutting away the windpipe and any gristle and skin. Use only a third of the liver and grate it, then mince the heart, the lights, and the little bag. It may be that you find that the heart and the king's hood are not boiled enough in the hour and a half, and if so, put them back in the pot and boil until tender.

Chop finely one-half pound of beef suet.

Toast three handfuls of oatmeal (finely ground oats, or rolled oats; NOT the "instant" or "quick cooking" oats) on a cookie sheet in the oven, and then mix all the ingredients - minced lights, grated liver, minced heart, minced king's hood, suet, oatmeal, salt and a good shaking of black pepper. Make this into a soft consistency with the water in which the pluck,etc. was boiled; then place into the stomach bag. Fill only a little over half full as the mixture swells. Sew up the bag with strong thread and the haggis is now ready for cooking.

Use a pot which will easily hold the haggis, and place a plate or trivet in the bottom of the pan. Place the haggis on the trivet, and add water to almost cover the haggis. Bring the water to a boil, and keep it boiling steadily for three hours, pricking occasionally to allow air to escape.

The haggis should be served on a platter without garnish or sauce.

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Gelatinous Mutant Coconut

All I want to know before I put it in my mouth is, umm, how did it mutate?

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 Evaporated Sweet Corn

>Hi,
>  I'm Serra, the one who sent ya the Seal Flipper recipe. Well, I took a
>pic of a can of food I found on the shelve of my local grocers ( "Martin's
>Grocery" here in Charles Town, WV, USA). I though U might want the pic for
>your website...I wasnt brave enough to buy the stuff and taste it....but
>maybe I will. Its called "John Cope's Fancy Evaporate Golden Sweet Corn".
>Just how the hell anyone 'evaporates' corn, or WHY anyone would want
>'evaporated' corn is beyound me.! Enjoy the pic.
>Your loyal website fan,
>Serra
>PS: Im a Florida native, so maybe "real" west virginians would know what
>this type of corn is for...maybe its an 'inbread' kinda thing...LOL!

*blush* I have a ...sniffle...  fan?  Thanks Serra!!

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Pickled Beets

Not really a foreign food, but scary nonetheless. Every pickled beet I've ever tried has the scent, as well as flavor, of dirt. Sweet-ish red vinegary dirt

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Pickled Eggs

Sometimes colored with pickled beets, the pickled egg is enjoyed both in the US and abroad. The only places I've ever personally seen a pickled egg for sale, however, has been in dirty, dark and seedy taverns of the Midwestern United States, usually populated by pickled egg eating types, if you will, and usually serving such libations as Pabst Blue Ribbon or Old Milwaukee (both being the drinks of choice when sampling the pickled egg). The egg jar is labeled, generally speaking, with a piece of cardboard or post it note with the price emblazoned in permanent marker or ballpoint pen, and the jar has had multiple eggs fished out by innumerable fingers that have made countless trips to the bacteria soaked area that is labeled "men's " in these nameless bars in nameless towns. I have this little fear of horrible abdominal cramps and explosive diarrhea that keep me from trying this quite possibly tasty snack. Perhaps the only "bar food " I'll likely never try. But then again...

Recipes

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Pickled Bologna

...sometimes found in the above described taverns

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The Spam family

I know, what an easy target. Actually I've had Spam and it's not all that bad - kind of like the insides of a hot dog with no skin. Organ meats, lips and assholes whipped into a meaty substance have never really bothered me much. I think the incarnates of Spam have sort of caused my disgust. The Hormel corporation has doctored up Spam in some novel ways, including the newest "hot & spicy" infused with Tabasco sauce, a smoked variety, low fat Spam and the even more healthful "Turkey Spam", not to mention that I know I've seen Spam impregnated with chunks of Velveeta at some point in my life. The "Spamburger" ad campaign of a few years ago made my stomach do a little flip-flop. Plus, the can is designed in such a way that you could lose a finger or two trying to fish your Spam cube out.

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Low Carb Sweets

Anyone who's been on Dr. Atkins' diet for more than a week knows that man can not live on meat, eggs, and cheese alone. So, you venture out to the health food store and but $50 worth of low carb "foods", brimming with glee at the thought of eating something that resembles a dessert or bread. Lustily tearing at the wrapper of your protein bar, milkshake box, or, God forbid, muffin mix, you would never guess that something that resembles those tasty treats you enjoy could be so incredibly horrible tasting. The milkshakes have the consistency of a drinkable laxative, and taste like sawdust sweetened with sweet n' low. The candy bars (barring the new ones they have that taste good but give you diarrhea) are as dense as plaster of paris, and taste about the same. Don't even get me started on the "baking mixes"... the breads and muffins you create with this stuff could be launched into space and probably still look the same by the time they reached the 4th galaxy over.

 

Here's a nice list of The World's 9 Worst Convenience Foods